I wish I could tell you
that it will all be easy
that life will be all
rainbows and butterflies
filled with beautiful colors
and glitter that shoots
out of unicorn butts
when they fart
but that would be a lie
If you didn’t know April is National Poetry month and as it approached, I knew I wanted to give back the gift of healing that poetry has given me to others. So, I prayed and asked God to bring me to the right people and places to share my heArt this month. And over the last few weeks God has not disappointed. I got to read poetry to a 90-year old woman whom I assisted one day to get back and forth to her PT appointment, sold one of my books to another 90-year old woman who I met through my new gardening job (future post on this one later haha), and I shared my poem Half of Me at the Dali Musuem’s open mic to the largest audience I have performed in front of yet on my journey as a spoken word artist. Honestly, the beauty of each one of these experiences could have been its own Substack post in its own right. Because the power of God and prayer has truly blown my mind when I take a moment to reflect on the magic of April so far.
But I’m not going to lie…there have been many moments over the last year since I left academia that intrusive thoughts like, “you’re not doing enough”, “you’re not impacting enough people”, “if you’re not making the same living you were a year ago, then you’re a failure”.
And last night, on the phone my friend Megan who has been such a pillar of support for me since I left my job last May reminded me the journey, I have chosen to surrender to has been one for the fulfillment of my ego. It has been one that I chose to go on and to be guided by God. And I have to admit, there have been many times my consciousness has slipped, and I have forgotten to celebrate just the one person I have read poetry to just like if they were one hundred people.
When I published Half of Me last June, I held the vision that if just one person had a transformative experience with my book, then it was all worth it to share my story - and I have received countless testimonies. And it takes a conscious choice to celebrate each and every one of them. Because honestly, my ego REALLY wants to witness the immediate gratification of my art and work and to see how it impacts the world through external measures, but I know the true measure of my work is how much heart and healing gets to be exchanged in every opportunity.
Your work and worth in this world cannot be measured.
So, I choose today to remember, that no matter if I am sharing my poetry with just one 90-year-old woman or I am sharing it with a group of one hundred people, sharing my poetry provides me with the best feeling in return - one that makes me feel like I am doing what I came to Earth to do and that is to express myself vulnerably and be willing to feel it all.
How amazing is it that next week I will be sharing my poetry and parts of my story at four different events with four different intentions. The audiences range from women interested in optimizing their wellness at Women of Wellness, to athletes exploring their idneitty and purpose, to sharing my story through the lens of poetry of an experience of sexual violence at Take Back the Night Global Summit, and a virtual call to fifth graders in Westfield, NJ to discuss about unicorn farts.
For next week’s Substack, I plan to share the poem I will be sharing at Take Back the Night for you all to read and listen to. This is a trigger warning that the poem will be describing a personal experience of a sexual assault that I experienced in college. Please take care of yourself if you choose to read/listen to it next week and if it brings-up emotions/experiences for yourself please do not hesitate to reach out to me, a trusted friend, or mental health provider to guide you through processing it.
Thank you for being here and reading my poetry and stories each week. If my Substack has supported, you in any way I would love to hear about it. And if you feel called to, please send this week’s Substack to a friend who needs a reminder that their worth in this world can never be measured - they are measureless - you are measureless.
If you are interested to see what I am up to…you can learn more about the events I will be featured at below.
Sunday, April 21st from 11:00AM - 2:00PM: Women of Wellness - The first event I will be sharing at an event called Women of Wellness hosted by Beauty Boost of Tampa. At this event, “women (like myself) will be sharing their definition of wellness and how it manifests for them.” And ofcourse, I am going to be sharing about the power of poetry as a wellness tool that has transformed my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health in the last four years. This event is on Sunday, April 21st from 11am-2pm at Hyde House in Tampa. If you are a woman in Tampa looking to network and build relationships with like-minded women in the area this event is for you! Learn more about how to sign-up here.
Wednesday, April 24th from 4:00PM - 6:00PM: Unlocking You - Unlocking You is a two-hour experiential workshop specifically designed for athletes to go on an inward journey to raise self-awareness to who they are and their purpose outside of athletics and prepare them for their next 'season' of life. There will be art expression, curious open-hearted conversations, and the facilitation of peer support. This event is taking place in partnership with Leads Coffeehouse on Himes Ave in Tampa. Athletes, parents, and coaches can find out more information here and pre-register for FREE here on Eventbrite using this link.
Thursday, April 25th from 8:00PM - 9:00PM: Take Back the Night Global Summit - Take Back The Night is the oldest worldwide movement to stand against sexual violence. At this event, I will be providing an artistic lens of sharing my own personal story for the first time publicly of a sexual assault I experienced in college. Poetry has been a tool I have used to process and reclaim my heart in many areas of my life and this just happens to be one of them and I have had to learn the experience does not define me. You can find out more information about this event and register to attend the event for FREE here using this link.
Friday, April 26th: Westfield, NJ Tamaques Elementary School: Guest Poet for National Poetry Month - Back in March I received an email from a teacher at Tamaques Elementary school congratulating me for my book and the work I was doing with Inward Athlete and that they were interested in connecting with a local poet. This made me laugh because I am from Westfield, MA! However, both the teacher and I agreed the Universe must have conspired to bring us together for a reason so I agreed to Zoom into their classroom and share some of my work, how I write poetry for my emotional well-being, (something that I wish I began back in 5th grade!) and facilitate them writing their own poetry.